Tips for dealing with people in pain
Here’s another lovely post I found while roaming the internet:
TIPS FOR DEALING WITH PEOPLE IN PAIN
1. People with chronic pain seem unreliable (we can’t count on ourselves). When feeling better we promise things (and mean it); when in serious pain, we may not even show up.
2. An action or situation may result in pain several hours later, or even the next day. Delayed pain is confusing to people who have never experienced it.
3. Pain can inhibit listening and other communication skills. It’s like having someone shouting at you, or trying to talk with a fire alarm going off in the room. The effect of pain on the mind can seem like attention deficit disorder. So you may have to repeat a request, or write things down for a person with chronic pain. Don’t take it personally, or think that they are stupid.
4. The senses can overload while in pain. For example, noises that wouldn’t normally bother you, seem too much.
5. Patience may seem short. We can’t wait in a long line; can’t wait for a long drawn out conversation.
6. Don’t always ask “how are you” unless you are genuinely prepared to listen it just points attention inward.
7. Pain can sometimes trigger psychological disabilities (usually very temporary). When in pain, a small task, like hanging out the laundry, can seem like a huge wall, too high to climb over. An hour later the same job may be quite OK. It is sane to be depressed occasionally when you hurt.
8. Pain can come on fairly quickly and unexpectedly. Pain sometimes abates after a short rest. Chronic pain people appear to arrive and fade unpredictably to others.
9. Knowing where a refuge is, such as a couch, a bed, or comfortable chair, is as important as knowing where a bathroom is. A visit is much more enjoyable if the chronic pain person knows there is a refuge if needed. A person with chronic pain may not want to go anywhere that has no refuge (e.g.no place to sit or lie down).
10. Small acts of kindness can seem like huge acts of mercy to a person in pain. Your offer of a pillow or a cup of tea can be a really big thing to a person who is feeling temporarily helpless in the face of encroaching pain.
11. Not all pain is easy to locate or describe. Sometimes there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, with hard to describe pains in the entire back, or in both legs, but not in one particular spot you can point to. Our vocabulary for pain is very limited, compared to the body’s ability to feel varieties of discomfort.
12. We may not have a good “reason” for the pain. Medical science is still limited in its understanding of pain. Many people have pain that is not yet classified by doctors as an officially recognized “disease”. That does not reduce the pain, – it only reduces our ability to give it a label, and to have you believe us.
- AUTHOR UNKNOWN
| Print article | This entry was posted by Kaessa on April 15, 2010 at 6:00 am, and is filed under life. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |















about 4 months ago
Thank you so much for this! Mr. Husband is dealing with, I guess, short-term chronic pain from hand surgery. He’s driving me crazy, and your post helped me understand a little more what he’s going through.
about 4 months ago
I’m glad I could help, and I hope he’s doing ok. It’s so much better to be have someone around who understands what you’re going through. :)
about 4 months ago
Thank You. I cannot stress those two words enough. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 07, but had been suffering symptoms following a car accident since Jan of 06. I am also dealing with Lyme’s disease, chronic migraines, and two damaged discs in my back. I am 35 years old and cannot work. Only other people who are in chronic pain can really understand what it is like, and I struggle with how to explain it to others. Especially people I am closest to. They often struggle with understanding, or how to help, wanting me to “fight harder” to get well, and I feel like I am letting them down. And it is lonely as hell.
about 4 months ago
Leslie, I think that’s the hardest part. “If only you would try harder/exercise more/get out of the house you would feel so much better”. It’s so discouraging when you can’t explain to them it won’t help, and they don’t understand.
I hope this letter helps. :)